||[Jun. 24th, 2007|12:08 am]
We Love To List
People have stopped sending me shit emails... maybe because they fear my indirect vitriol via this page. God I hope it lasts!
Anyway here are some things you could do to make an idiot out of yourself in public... which ones are your favorite?
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trollies when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in the warehouse".... and see what happens.
5. Go to customer services and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. (yeh we don't have these in this country do we?)
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"